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Fear of Remodeling
I’ve had many clients through the years say they wish they had remodeled their homes sooner. Some built additions after the children were grown and gone, and wish the children had been able to enjoy the new space. Others renovated just before putting their house on the market, and regret not being able to enjoy the improvements themselves. In most cases, it was fear of the remodeling process that kept them from starting earlier.
Does the thought of remodeling your home cause you to break out in a cold sweat and your eye to start twitching? If so, you may be one of the millions of American homeowners who suffer from Remodelophobia—fear of remodeling. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about—it shows up in the best of families. There is hope, however. With courage, persistence, and professional help, you can soon be on your way to remodeling your home with confidence.
First, realize that fear is natural and healthy. It can keep you out of trouble. The problem with fear is that it may keep you from doing things you really want to do. Do you remember when you were learning to ride a bicycle. In my case, I don’t know which was worse--the fear of getting hurt or the fear of looking foolish in front of my friends. But, because learning to ride was so important to me, it forced me to work through the fear, and keep trying until I could ride. Was it worth it? Absolutely.
Since remodeling is a complicated process, it is normal to be wary. It is common for people to worry about being "ripped off", making bad decisions, spending too much, or being disappointed with the results. Start by making a list of your fears. You may find that your list is relatively short and manageable.
Fear is usually based in lack of understanding—fear of the unknown.
Knowledge is power. Educate yourself about the process, and look for a mentor—a friend or acquaintance who has had experience (good or bad) to help advise you on what to expect, and what to watch out for.
If you’re connected to the internet, there is a great deal of useful information available about home remodeling. Remodeling Magazine has a website called Remodeling Online, located at http://www.remodeling.hw.net. The National Association of the Remodeling Industry’s site is at http://www.nari.org. The final site is by the National Association of Home Builders, and can be found at http://www.nahb.com. All three sites have articles of advice on how to find a contractor, what remodeling projects cost, and advice on how to get started.
The following phone numbers will connect you to the same organizations by phone: NARI—800-966-7601, NAHB—800-368-5242, and the Denver office of the Home Builders Association is at 778-1400. For a copy of articles on how to choose a remodeling contractor or how to live through a remodeling project, just call my office at 444-0032, and we’ll be happy to mail you a copy.
If the education process outlined above seems too tedious, there are two other techniques used by mental health professionals to help people cope with anxiety—Systematic Desensitization, and Flooding. To implement the first method, you start by just saying the word remodel softly to yourself until you can do so without shaking. Next you might say the word confidently in public. Eventually, you could try a small remodeling project such as changing the knob on the bathroom vanity. The aim is to get accustomed to the idea in small incremental steps. Ultimately, you may be able to actually call a contractor.
Personally, I prefer the Flooding technique. For this one, you would call a contractor immediately, and engage in a whole-house remodel right off the bat. This way, you are forced to deal with all your fears at once, and get them over with quickly.
Remember, if you really want to remodel, consider starting now. Most things worth doing involve some risk. The sooner you get started, the sooner you can enjoy the results. There’s nothing like the sense of accomplishment at conquering your fear, and accomplishing your goal.
